The Ervin Family: how we met

A question that I (Erin) like to ask couples is “So, how did you two meet?”

People also seem interested to know how we got together especially because we are such a young couple. And if you enjoy hearing a couple’s love story as much as I do, then hopefully this won’t be too boring for you. It's kind of a long story but I'll try not to make it way too long! Plus, I’ll include lots of pictures just because a post is so much better with lots of pictures!

In August 2007, my sister tried to get me to sign up for the homeschool volleyball team she had been a part of for a couple years. I was convinced that I had no athletic skill and was sure I would mess things up and make myself look dumb. Well…at a picnic I bumped into the head Varsity coach/Director of the homeschool program, who was very persuasive and said that I should join! I decided just to do it—I could always decide not to come back in a season (I came back—I really enjoyed playing! My sister was right…)

my second year of volleyball

I had just gotten a facebook account and I added a few of my new teammates. Then I got a friend request from my head coach’s son, Derek. I already knew of him—he seemed nice. I never gave it a second though after I clicked “accept.”

At Derek's brother's graduation, May 2008.

Well, after a week or two he messaged me and said hi, asked me how I was doing, and said he had seen me around at practice (what is shocking to me is that he thought I was much older than I was! And as a rule he didn’t really talk to girls lol. It all worked out in God’s plan though.) I answered him back and eventually just forgot to answer once he replied. This happened a few times. Then he asked me about my church and I got more talkative…and things just clicked. Within a month, we were messaging each other probably about twice a day, talking about our school, our different beliefs (Baptist vs. Presbyterian), and silly questions like our favorite color or candy bar.

At a homeschooler's trip to MI Adventure.

I started to really like Derek around the end of our volleyball season (October). We really hadn’t hardly talked in person before though (most every conversation was through facebook) and I knew that I was too young (I was just turned 16, and he was 15) to be in a serious relationship. But the more I got to know Derek and how he thought, what he aspired to be, the more I continued desire that maybe I could be a part of his future. I really admired his passion for Christ and learning about the Bible. I was cautious though and didn’t tell anyone what I was starting to feel for him.

Dissecting a starfish at homeschool co-op

In November my sister went on to play basketball and he would be there at practice so we would get to sit and talk. A little bit after New Year’s, he sent me a message that said that he wanted to tell me that he was interested in me as more than a just a casual friend, and didn’t want me to hear it from someone else, but thought it would be best to take things slow and just keep building our friendship instead of jumping into a relationship. I was so nervous to see him at the game the night I got the message. He sat with a friend that night and I couldn’t go up and tell him that I felt the same way and agreed, and he was wondering the entire night if he had blown it and I didn’t want to talk to him anymore! Long story short, things worked out…

Talking at a homeschool picnic

We just continued being good friends. Eventually, we wanted to be in a more serious relationship, but my parents wanted us to be careful and take things slowly, so they decided it would be best not to take steps to further the relationship until we were at a place where things could move towards marriage.

Picking blueberries with our families.

Every time we talked on facebook, or got to see each other at a homeschool event we got to know each other a little bit more and I was firmly convinced that Derek would someday be my husband—I just thought it would be a really long time before he was! Waiting to be able to do more than see each other at group events or express our feelings on a deeper level was really hard…but so worth it in the end because we got to know each other SO much more than many teenage couples who got together and started dating so quickly. We had a lot of difficult conversations, too, has we had to work through our different beliefs and struggled with doctrines together. Eventually, we came to see things the same way and it made our friendship stronger.

At a church softball game.

As we came into our senior year, Derek was offered a job to be a caretaker at a motel, which would provide income and housing. It seemed like this might be the means through which God was making a way for our deep desire to be married (After our engagement it fell through partially through our choice as we saw this might not be the wisest move. I still think God used it to bring us together though, and then provided something even better).

Excited about being engaged!

So the week of Christmas, Derek had a long talk with my dad and asked permission to propose to me, marry, and take the job. My parents gave him their blessing, but I was still nervously waiting to hear the outcome.

Going to Homeschool Prom as an engaged couple.

On Christmas Eve, while I was washing dishes in preparation for dinner, our dog started barking and when I looked out the window, I saw Derek’s car pull into the driveway. This was the first time he had ever come over by himself—previously the only time he came is when our families’ got together. I knew right away that something was up when my dad let him in and then everyone disappeared into their bedrooms and the basement.